Stiffer Penalties For Divorce

I was watching "Bowling For Columbine," the Michael Moore film about gun violence in the U.S. recently. In it, he pulls a great clip (get it?) from a Chris Rock performance where Rock says something to the effect of, "If you wanna stop the crime, forget about the guns and focus on the bullets. Guns will always be around, but if a single bullet costs $5,000 there won't be anymore innocent bystanders. For $5,000 a bullet, you know the person who got shot must have really pissed someone off."

I like that idea, but it seems too far fetched to ever be taken seriously. Maybe mine is too, but it seems at least somewhat reasonable. I've got my politician's cap on, trying to think of how we could produce extra cash in this economy. Obviously, putting money in the government's pockets means either cutting spending from any number of groups or populations, raising taxes on certain items (such as cigarettes), or creating or raising fine levels for certain actions (such as parking illegally). I'm thinking more along the lines of this last one. I started by thinking of groups to hold back from, but that's just uncool. I've seen enough music and arts programs go under to think I know what deserves to stay and what deserves to go. Do we really need a nation full of math and science dweebs? I think music and art is more important, but I digress. Raising taxes, well that's going to happen anyway. They don't need my help on that one.

Ah, but married couples. Such an easy target, it makes me wonder why Washington D.C. hasn't considered something like this. So here we go. Marriage is a joke in this country. Britney Spears can get married for 48 hours, sign a couple documents and be out of it with no penalty. This no penalty shit is what needs to change. Conservatives think gay people are ruining the sanctity of marriage, and I say that is stupid. What is ruining the sanctity of marriage is the fact that there are no rules governing it. Why do we act so surprised that half the marriages in this country end in divorce? There's no harsh consequences. Jack and Jill can get married and at the slightest hint of discord, they can just pack it up and move on. Pay a court fee and sign the X. What should happen is a stiff fine for getting divorced. Just like in the Chris Rock clip, if you are willing to pay $10,000 apiece to the government to finalize a divorce, you must really hate the shit out of each other. This would be on top of legal fees and property matters. Just $10,000 each right to the government because you couldn't keep it together. In the meantime, this will force us stupid idiots to think harder about who we are marrying, cut down on the divorce rate, improve childrens' lives by having two parents in the house, and beef up the nation's cash money situation for the people who won't mind forking over the money to get away from their spouse.