Funeral Doom at 28

I am coming up on another birthday tomorrow. It's kind of weird every year where you just think to yourself, "Wow it's actually here" in a way that is increasingly more forlorn than it was growing up. I have this unhelpful new habit where I research musicians, actors, and any artists, living or dead, to see what they were up to when they were my age. I check their filmographies and discographies and think back to where I was and what I was doing at the same age they were getting recognized for their respective creative outputs. Does that make enough sense? Of course, turning 28 has had me thinking about "the curse of 27" in regards to the four music icons who died at that age: Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison of the Doors, Janis Joplin, and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana. Actually, technically, I have now outlived all of them, but turning the literal age page tomorrow will make it official. It's annoying thinking about how much they accomplished by this age and how little I have in the same span. So to piss myself off even more, I made a quick list of dead musicians who have had a lot of influence on me and who wasted no time in pumping out awesome songs and albums by the time they were my age. True, most of them lived past the age of 28, but true also that they achieved greatness in my ears by then. I was trying to come up with 10, sort of like a game of David Letterman Mortality Checkers, but I topped out at 8. I didn't want to throw in two extra people I cared little about just to make it. I'm not trying to make it sound like I don't care about them, but I just don't have that emotional attachment. I won't take away what Jimi Hendrix did for rock music, but nothing particularly draws me to his style. John Lennon would be another easy one, but I happen to think the Beatles are one of the most overrated, overcredited music acts of all time. It's tragic what happened to John Lennon, but I'm trying to put the scope of the work in the context of my appreciation for it. I wasn't alive in the '60s, so from a purely objective point of view I think the Beach Boys had more going for them than the Beatles in a musical sense. So it's a tribute to the top 8 musicians in my world who own a piece of my life, did so while they were younger than 28, and whom I wish were still here for more perfection. Their demises were a combination of bad choices and bad luck, and I miss them and their music. I didn't know them but I still do.

8. Cliff Burton, Metallica bassist, 1962-1986. Cliff was the busy bass man in the biggest metal band of the '80s. Incredible finger agility helped produce the low end on classic albums Kill Em All (when he was just 21), Ride the Lightning, and Master of Puppets. A bus crash ended it in Sweden.

7. Chuck Schuldiner, frontman of Death, 1967-2001. When it comes to writing death metal songs, Chuck Schuldiner is still unmatched. In a genre where most bands focus on trying to be the fastest, most technical, and most brutal, Chuck let those bands exist while he destroyed them with 7 masterpiece albums starting at the age of 20. Luckily, the band's final opus with Chuck, The Sound of Perseverance, came out when he was 31 so I still have time to match that. Not. Cancer came into the picture, and that was that.

6. Layne Staley, Alice In Chains singer, 1967-2002. With Nirvana and Pearl Jam came Alice In Chains, a seminal third option in the explosive grunge era. More haunting and introspective than his Seattle brethren, Staley appeared on albums that have stood the test of time such as Dirt (1992, 25 years old) and Jar of Flies (1994, 27 years old). Considering his lyrical content detailing his biggest vice, it probably surprised no one that his death was drug related in 2002.

5. Phil Lynott, Thin Lizzy singer/bassist, 1949-1986. As far as I can tell, Thin Lizzy revolutionized the way dual guitars were used in rock and metal. Phil Lynott backed up that attack with great bass lines and ridiculously infectious vocal parts. Starting in 1971, when Lynott was just 22, the band released at least one album every year of fiery influential rock through 1981. This includes 1978's Live and Dangerous, still my favorite live album to date. Despite or because of their success, Lynott was heavy into drugs and alcohol and it caught up with him.

4. Jim Morrison, singer for The Doors, 1943-1971. The turbulent times surrounding the United States while The Doors were around make me wish even more I could have been around to witness this band. Jim Morrison managed to sound like a wild man on record; I can only imagine what he was like in person. He was the poet behind a plethora of great songs that uprooted the happy flower power attitude of California and gave the movement some sustenance and balls, all while Morrison was in his mid-20s. As many people do, I remain confused by the details of his death, but he was 27 and ahead of his time on the lyrical spectrum.

3. Witold "Vitek" Kieltyka, drummer for Decapitated, 1984-2007. One of the first bands to pique my interest in brutal death metal was Decapitated from Poland. Much of the reason they did can be attributed to Vitek, who was a furious master blaster and could vary his feet rhythms on the double kick mid riff. I listen to his chops and just say, "holy shit" to myself over and over. Really, that's all you can say. He recorded two masterpiece albums , Winds of Creation in 2000 (16 years old) and Nihility in 2002 (18 years old) at an age when most of us are barely driving. He died as Cliff Burton did, in a tour bus accident, traveling to show while in Russia.

2. Kurt Cobain, singer/guitarist for Nirvana, 1967-1994. This one is fairly obvious, but it took me awhile to realize the social impact and scope of his passing. I was only 12 when he killed himself, so understanding what it meant was difficult back then. I can hear now why he was chosen as the voice of that early 90s generation. People were growing up, and you can only listen to 80s spandex butt metal for so long. Cobain had a great knack for songwriting, and I often wonder what direction his music would be going in if he was still alive today. The thing I feel most sorry about is the fact that Cobain had so many strangers who hung on his every move and word but no one he could lean on to help him avoid what eventually happened. He was apparently not ready for the fame and fortune that followed his music, I just wish he could have pep talked himself into a contented middle area.

1. Jon Nodtveidt, vocalist/guitarist for Dissection, 1975-2006. When I first started listening to metal, it was of the death metal variety. All fast, all the time, constant brutality. It took finding this band to realize I am more of a black metal fan, and Dissection did it better than any band I've heard since. A perfect combination of thrashy goodness, icy riffs (they are Swedish after all), and atmosphere, Nodtveidt was the lead songwriter for all their material. At 18 years of age, he recorded The Somberlain, a formidable first offering in what was, at that time, a new and untested genre. Two years later, the masterpiece that is Storm of the Light's Bane arrived, and even though I wasn't a fan of this band until 10 years after the fact, it remains the main reason why this band is unrivaled for me. Then Nodtveidt went and did some stupid shit. He was an accessory to murder, in what capacity I don't know. He spent 7 years in jail and reformed the band upon his release. In 2004, they recorded an amazing live DVD from Sweden which showcases beautifully the ease with which Nodtveidt could destroy an audience and make them beg for more. He killed himself in the same manner Kurt Cobain did, and I'm still pissed about it because I never got to see Dissection live.

I didn't make this list, because I want to become a famous musician. Well, I wouldn't mind that but in no way am I banking on it happening. I'm just impressed with how talented these individuals were at a younger age than I am now. I am really thankful they were able to put these records and songs out to be appreciated before succumbing to the forces that be. If there is an afterlife of any kind and they get word that some loser in the East Bay is throwing a shout out to them, I hope they can be happy about it.

I'm Ready For Football

I haven't written in awhile, but I'll take this opportunity because it is opening weekend of NCAA football and a week away from the start of the NFL season. I have tried convincing myself in the past that these are not special occasions, but that is pretty foolish. The fact is I love the game of football, and no matter what level the players are on (including high school and junior college), I will stop and watch if I have a chance.

Oddly enough, I barely played any organized football growing up. In Texas, school athletics begin in 7th grade rather than 9th as in California. I was still in Texas for 7th grade and had originally registered for a theatre class. After the first day, feeling uncomfortable with the ad libbing and expressive nature of the surroundings, I opted to get out. I wasn't in the frame of mind at 13 years of age to "find" myself through obsolete characters I didn't feel connected with. The only other elective I had the opportunity to join was the football team, which couldn't refuse people. Not that they would have refused me because by my own cocky volition, I was an athletic kid with a soccer background and was used to running. My favorite part of football was getting to play both offense and defense, but my game time was limited so all my glory occurred in practices. I was a lineman on offense and a linebacker on defense. Clearly, linebacker was the most fun. At that age, the coaches basically instructed my position to find the guy with the ball and tear his fucking head off. In soccer, I was more of a finesse player at forward because with only shin guards as protection I felt exposed. As a football player, I played with reckless abandon. When you are wearing full body protection, you feel bigger than you really are. Because I had missed the summer practices, I was third string everything and the coaches probably didn't expect players of my ilk to test the starters. We were more or less the practice squad that got them ready for games, but we took that shit seriously. I remember more than a few occasions busting my way through the line of scrimmage on a blitz and putting hits on the star quarterback of our school. Of course, that led to all his first string cohorts hurling playful insults at him and he probably hated us third stringers when we threw him down to the ground.

Of course, it wasn't always fun. There's a reason I was third string. Before our first game, which took place on the road two days after I joined the team, I had no cleats to wear so I boarded the bus with no option but to wear my Converse All Stars. At halftime, our head coach was asking who hadn't played yet. I stepped up and asked to play defense. He looked at me and laughed in my face. Can't really blame him. For another game, I washed the football pants but switched the knee pads with the thigh pads. I thought it felt wrong when I put them on, but I attributed that to nerves more than anything. Turns out it actually WAS wrong. But all in all, it was a fun season. My glory on defense was relegated to practices, and strangely enough all the game time I eventually did receive that year was on the offensive line, which I found really boring but that's how I was used. The drills in practice helped my athleticism and probably made my soccer skills stronger. And on weekends, I followed the high flying Houston Oilers with Warren Moon at the helm. They had the best uniforms, the best offense, and the worst playoff loss in NFL history, which I think started their move to Tennessee, a team I refuse to cheer for. They are the same franchise, not the same team. You don't see people in Cleveland rooting for the Ravens just because they used to be the Browns.

Nostalgia is a funny beast. It creeps up on you at unsuspecting times. Watching the first weekend of college football has me remembering so much. We had season tickets to Texas A&M games in the early 90s when Corey Pullig at QB and Leland McElroy at RB were leading the charge. We went to every home game for a few years at a time when they never lost at Kyle Field. They had an amazing band, which has the best halftime performance you will ever see. I remember one Saturday I had a soccer game where I got violently and blindly slide tackled as I was taking a shot, resulting in a badly sprained ankle which kept me out for almost the whole season. We iced my foot for the remainder of that game, after which point I was carried to my Mom's car. Instead of taking me home to rest, we had a football game to go to. I wrapped my arms around my mom and stepdad to avoid pressure on my ankle, and we made our way to the gate. Our season ticket seats were high up in the stadium, so I had to grip the railing and hobble my way up the steep concrete steps. All for the love of football and a game the Aggies won. A loss would have been highly unacceptable for the amount of work it took to get there.